Date: 07/09/2015 11:48 pm Title: Chapter 35
Good, Tim is finally starting to chip away at Gibbs' wall. Then, maybe, with the two of them staying together, they can assist one another. Gibbs can help Tim get over that final major hurdle, that hollow feeling. The memory of when that sense of abandonment wash over him, drowning him is his sea of hopelessness. My thought is that it will begin when he finally sees Abby, face to face. He has to allow himself to forgive her. Not that he outwardly blames her, just the opposite. He blames himself. He must let her take any responsibility which is due her.
And Gibbs. The one & only holdout. He hasn't broken yet. But he will, in his own way. When everything is said & done. After all questions are asked & answered. After all parties that took part in this are brought to justice. After every one on his team, each member of his "family" are safe & well on their way to healing. Only then will he allow himself a moment, that precious, illusive, life saving moment to reflect on what they all went through. Then he can begin to heal also. And with Tim right there at his side, they can heal too. Gripping each other, holding on to that last thread of the future, those two kindred spirits can move on.
wow! - I think I should send th guys to you instead of Dr. Rachel! (LOL!)
Seriously though, thank you for your wonderful insight! Very inspiring! (hint, hint)
and you are very right!
the question is - will all go as smoothly as they need it to? What unexpected events are lurking just around the next corner?
Thank you so much for continuing to read & review.
Date: 06/04/2015 09:39 am Title: Chapter 34
Sorry I haven't been able to write a review earlier, but was having some problems with my login.
What a great couple of chapters.
Loved Gibbs & Tim's talk.
I hope that Tim will start to believe that Gibbs cares for him and not keep thinking the worse about himself and his so called "weakness".
Date: 05/23/2015 05:27 pm Title: Chapter 32
I'm glad to see Tim & Abby finally seeking the help they need. Lets hope that Gibbs isn't far behind. He's the only real hold out now. He reminds me of my Nana. A stronger woman you've never met, a true Alpha female. In a crisis she was always the first to arrive & the last to leave. She always made sure that everyone who needed help & attention got it & promptly. When it was over & everyone on the mend, only then did she finally allow herself to break down. Always in private, always alone. I feel that this is Gibbs. When his family in finally on the mend will he allow himself to reflect on what happened & how it's affected him. Maybe he'll let himself open up to a member of the team. Someone who can listen without comment, who can empathize without direction, someone who can heal right alongside with him. A kindred soul to hold on to when it becomes too much. Yes, I think that would work.
The truly difficult part will be the grieving & forgiving that needs to be done.
Grieving for the innocence lost, the memories that ripped open so many old wounds, the lives that will never be the same again.
Forgiving themselves & accepting that forgiveness. Some carry more guilt than others but all carry some. All souls have been wounded. There were no winners here, everyone lost something, good guys & bad guys alike. But all that was taken away can be reclaimed, with hard work & some major soul searching, all wounds will heal. I'm not saying that there won't be scars, no, there'll be plenty of those. But scars can be hidden when necessary. And scars serve as reminders. Reminders of not only the Hell they all went through but, the fact that they went through it together. Of how much each person overcame. Badges, battle scars, medals if you will, that prove bravery above & beyond, surviving the unsurvivable, & moving forward as one. As only a true family can. Holding on to each other for dear life & loving each other unconditionally.
It kinda makes me think though. Was that SOB (I've blocked out his name) actually in some sort of relationship with Pamona? Or was this all because of a psycho's obsession? I know the turning point that took him from grieving nut case to revenge obsessed psychopath was when Pamona showed an interest in Tim. At that moment he started planning Tim's demise. I kinda hope that Tim never actually learns this, it's something that he would never get over. He wouldn't survive the guilt.
Maybe, just maybe though, his twisted thoughts were recorded somewhere in his video account of his revenge. And maybe Gibbs learns of his obsession with hurting Tim. Then Gibbs would be responsible for protecting Tim from that fact. Giving Gibbs the control he so desperately needs. He could then again become the protector, the leader, the Alpha ... Papa Gibbs.
Thank-you for sharing this fantastic story with us. I've had a great time following along. I can't wait to see what you come up with next!
Thank you - and I'm so glad you enjoyed that chapter.
Ricardo was, in fact, in love with Paloma since they were kids together - and as he so plainly yelled at Gibs' 'We were going to be married!"
and Tim was on his radar because Paloma found him adorable and verbalized her interest in him - petrifying Ricardo that he as about to be replaced in her life.
we'll have to wait and see where this leads - goodness knows this story seems to keep taking on a life of its' own - so who knows, at this point.
thank you again for her awesome reviews - and your time!!
Date: 05/14/2015 12:36 am Title: Chapter 30
Oh, I'm so happy with this chapter. I love the fact that you brought Dr. Cranston into the story, I just adore her, almost as much as Kate. She has her work cut out for her, dealing with all of these guilt ridden victims. Almost all of them harbor some sort of guilt from this experience. Although Ducky & Ziva seem to be handling things better than the rest, they don't seem to carry a lot of that guilt on their shoulders. But, as of the rest, Rachel's going to have a lot of work ahead to put the team back together again.
**The least difficult should be Jimmy. He's still dealing with the fact that he feels like he gave up on Tim. Thinking that he died right from the beginning, he's convinced himself that in believing that he actually put Tim right out of his mind, therefore actually abandoning his friend. But Rachel shouldn't have too difficult a time with him. Breena is there for Jimmy, & if anyone can get him through this it's her. Ain't love grand?
**Tony, that's a very different problem. He actually believed that Tim was off vacationing on a beach somewhere while the team was being tortured. Now, knowing that Tim had it much worse than everyone else, Tony is furious at himself for ever doubting his partner, his "Probie". He feels as if he failed to protect his "little brother", & that he doubted Tim's commitment to Tony & the team. His guilt is deep & heart felt. It's going to take a lot of patience to get Tony to see what really is. That he loves Tim & would do anything for him & that Tim feels the same. Tony's good at giving but not so much with receiving.
** Now Abby, she's shut herself away with the nuns. We really havn't heard much from her so I'm not sure what she's thinking. Does she feel any guilt? I would rather her feel remorse for what she did & for the consequences of her actions. The only way the team can fully heal is is she understands what happened, why it happened & how not to allow anything like this to happen again. Abby needs to finally grow-up. And Gibbs needs to back off & let her do just that.
** Gibbs, oh boy, dealing with Jethro, not an easy task. He's too busy right now trying to get his "family" back & well. He hasn't given himself a moment to reflect on what happened to them, all of them including himself. He's a victim also, his angst comes from a different source. He's the Alpha, their leader, the protector, their "father figure" & he totally failed at his job. On top of the fact that he feels responsible for this whole mess, he also has to deal with knowing that his "family" was in the hands of that paycopath for two weeks without him there to protect them. His recovery will be long & difficult for Rachel. But if anyone can bring him through this, she can, & maybe with some help from Tim.
** Ah, Timothy. What can I say. His confidence before all of this was questionable at best, now it's almost non existent. Out of the whole team, with the exception of Ducky, Tim has the ability to see the whole picture. Not just from his point of view but from other's as well. That may prove to be his downfall. He needs to be able to work through his feelings, not everyone else's. He has to see that he is not the weak link. Christopher Robbin said it perfectly..." You must always remember that you are braver than you believe... stronger than you seem... and smarter than you think." His level of guilt in enormous, he's carrying entire load on his shoulders. He has to learn that it doesn't have to be that way. That Gibbs & the team are there to help distribute the weight to it's proper owner. That damn psychopath (whatever the hell his name was), he alone is responsible for all of this... no one else. Tim has to let the others in, trust that they have his back & only then will the healing start.
Hell, what they all need is one great big, giant, group hug. A NCIS love fest, maybe Rachel should try a group session at one point. It just may be carzy enough to help.
** So sorry for the lengthy review. I tend to get carried away when I read a story that gets to me. I can drive myself crazy (along with the author) reading between the lines as well as ahead of the story. You keep writing like this & you should be able to get use to it.
p.s... I just want to let you know. If you find anything in any of my reviews that you feel would enhance any of your stories, feel free to use it. I give you my permission, anything to help the story, OK?
and thank you!!!
so glad you're enjoying this!
I definately appreciate your input - and thank you for the permission - I may very well borrow a piece or two -- they seem so right.
Date: 05/12/2015 09:57 am Title: Chapter 30
Love that you have brought Rachel Cranston into it, I love her and there is great leeway to work with her character.
Very realistic reactions from the team here, especially Tony's anger. Very true to their characters.
I don't like the fact that Tim is trying to internalise everything and deal with it himself. Hopefully Rachel will get to talk to him soon and bring him out of that.
And yet again, Abby has everyone worrying about her. Yes, I know she is trying to deal with it in her own way, but locking herself away from everyone is making sure that she is a focus of their attention. She is not thinking of the others at all, when even in their own individual misery all of the others continue to think of the rest of the team!
Rachel has become my 'go to' person when the team needs a shrink. She's my favorite, too.
so glad you enjoyed this chapter - hopefully the next one won't take me as long to write - although i am literally getting ready to move so, time will tell.
thank you again for your staying power and your support. it makes writing this - that much more enjoyable.
Date: 04/28/2015 06:08 am Title: Chapter 29
Yea! You're updating this story. I'm so totally thrilled that you chose to continue with it. Thank-you, I was hoping you would finish it. this story is just screaming to be told!
Now, on to the story... WOW! Talk about a psychological adventure. You have your readers knee deep in the minds & emotions of the characters. I'm feeling almost every emotion that they're going through. Every nerve in my body is raw with angst. You have brought me along with the team through their ordeal. I feel like I'm right smack dab in the middle of it all without feeling any of the actual pain. That is an example of a truly gifted writer.
Now that things are finally coming to the surface about what actually happened, how will you explain to the team why? I realize that that psychopath blamed Gibbs, Abby & Tim for his love, Paloma's death. That he was mentally torturing them in order to appease himself. But if I remember correctly there was another reason for his actions. I can't help but believe that if was directed at Tim for completely personal reasons. I remember that in chapter 12, he was remembering the altercation in Mexico between Paloma, Tim & Abby. The fact that when Tim stood up to Paloma & offered himself as hostage instead of Abby & the students, that left quite the impression on her. So much so that he heard her saying to herself "With his beautiful face & charm, he will serve me well, I do believe." Could he have thought that he would lose his beloved ti Tim? Was his whole plan all along was out of jealousy & revenge towards Tim?
So many questions yet to be answered. I'll be waiting for your next updates. Thank-you again for continuing with this story.
thank you!! and thank you for your patience with this posting of this story.
you input is greatly appreciated - as is your enthusiasm for the story itself.
thank you again.
the next chapter is up (finally)
Date: 04/15/2015 12:36 pm Title: Chapter 29
Wow, that last scene with Tim breaking down and Tony comforting him is just so good.
Looking forward to the next instalment
and please forgive me for not replying sooner.
so glad you're enjoying this!
Date: 03/13/2015 09:41 am Title: Chapter 28
Wow, there was certainly plenty to digest in that chapter.
My heart goes out to poor Tim. The guys need to get to the hospital quick so that he can see for himself they are all OK. Hope Gibbs can sort that soon.
Isn't Jimmy just brilliant. Well done him for knowing when he was out of his depth and who he needed to call to fix things. Although you have to feel for both Penny and Sarah not being the people able to comfort Tim at this time.
Not sure if Tim hearing the conversation in Vance's office is a good or bad thing.
Another great chapter, thanks
Still can't wait to read more :-)
so relieved that having that be such a long chapter didn't turn out to be a bad thing...
though, I've not had but one review over on fanfic on it, so over there it may be a different story, right?
so glad you enjoyed it.
that one was written a long time ago - but when the story caught up to it - it had to be reshaped - big time.
there's an emotional interaction between Gibbs & Abby coming up - that had orginally been in there.
thanks again, for sticking with me on this - and for contiuing to let me know what you think.
Date: 02/25/2015 03:22 pm Title: Chapter 27
Another great chapter, but the ending steals the show, gibbs being able to comfort Tim was very touching. And both Tim and Sarah crying silently, broke my heart, something that was learned in their early lives perhaps!!?
Yep, can't wait for the next update :-)
again, I'm late with responding - so very sorry.
been working hard on the next chapter - it's a long one and it's up now.
hope you enjoy it. thank so much for continuing to read/review.
Date: 02/25/2015 07:09 am Title: Chapter 27
Wow! Awesome chapter...Gibbs comforting Tim and also helping Sara was fantastic! Jimmy s emotional reaction to Tim being alive was so real...he was so worried his friend was dead...can't wait to see what happens at the meeting in Vances office in the morning.
Thank you!! so glad you like it.
yes, the meeting should prove interesting.
I just hope nothing goes awry with Tim while Gibbs isn't around to deal with it.
Thanks again so much for reading/reviewing.
Date: 02/06/2015 10:46 am Title: Chapter 26
Gibbs and even ducky's ability to read Tim is brilliant. Good thing too considering the mince meat his throat must be in. Will Tim ever tell the others everything he was put through, knowing him no cause he wouldn't want them to know, at least gibbs knows.
Ok Abby needs to man up. I know she is hurting taking the blame, but yeah it was her fault, she treated Tim like crap when they were in Mexico. She needs to fess up to the others. My sympathy is currently with the others.
Ah jimmy, such a sweetheart. I'm glad he knows Tim is ok.
Now what is vance going to tell them in the morning.
Another great, nice long chapter.
Love it :-)
Date: 01/29/2015 01:16 pm Title: Chapter 25
Oh god, that was heartbreakingly precious. The two of them breaking down on the stairs and holding on to each other, I just wanted to join in too. The whispered "you're alive" I can't even describe the emotions it brought out in me.
As you might guess, loved, loved, loved this chapter.
so glad you liked it.
it was hard for me to get that deep with Gibbs - keeping him in character and believable while going there - so I'm happy that i managed to keep that.
- and while I don't want Tim to come across as weak - he definately needed some confirmation there.
thank you so much for letting me know and for staying with the story.
Date: 01/28/2015 03:31 pm Title: Chapter 24
Wow, so many updates in such a short time span, you're spoiling us - but please don't stop, more soon please. Especially with that chapter end , cliffhanger!
I was practically shouting at Gibbs to get to his basement as his thoughts kept interrupting.
No, Tim didn't shoot, he wouldn't, you wouldn't, you couldn't, could you!!
quick updates is what happens when the story finally catches up to the part that was written months ago! (LOL!)
and no, don't worry - we haven't come this far - for that to happen - now....
thanks for the wonderful review and the staying with the story.
glad you like it
Date: 01/12/2015 09:11 am Title: Chapter 21
Great update, you must have put some amount of research into the hospital diagnosis and treatments. Brilliant details.
Loved Gibbs reaction, very true to his character. But well done on using Sarah and Penny to see he needed to stay in the hospital. Really enjoyed that interaction.
Now........ come on, where is Tim? They're out searching from him around the truck and woods, they should have found him by now!!!
Update soon please :-)
Thank you so very much for continuing to read AND review - depsite my glaringly dreadful lack of response.
you are most appreciated.
i think we will be very surprised (or not) where Tim is found.
as for when, well.....
Date: 12/16/2014 03:58 pm Title: Chapter 16
Curiouser and curiouser lol.... Ok you have me flipped around and spinning, I thought I knew why he was doing it, but now not so sure. And the fact that Ducky and especially Jimmy are there definitely adds to that. I Have to go back and read from the start to see if I missed any clues lol.
I'm so glad most of them are not allowing themselves to believe what he is saying about Tim.
Poor Gibbs, you broke him, tears and all. My heart is aching for him, he'd never say it but he loves them all fiercely and thinking they are there because of something he did out of pure grief 20 years ago, that would torture him more than his possible death being near.
I love Jackson Gibbs unwavering faith in his son. Let's hope it rings through and they ALL make it out of there even if it's not Gibbs to the rescue.
Can't wait to read more and see what the real reason for them being there is, even if it is the original reason and he was just manipulating them all, again.
Date: 12/05/2014 04:53 pm Title: Chapter 15
I just love Penny and Sarah McGee's characters. Way to go ladies.
Well you definitely didn't hold back with the verbal anialation of Tim. I could feel myself flinching just reading it. Poor Tim I just want to wrap him in a big hug.
At last some clues to try find them, come on Leon rescue them.
Another great chapter, thanks, love it.
so sorry it's taking so long to update - only 1/2 of the chapters are pre-wrtten - the original outline so to speak.
filling in and all that stuff, well, work tends to get in the way, but we're not giving up.
I wonder if the clues will come in time to be of any help?
Date: 11/24/2014 04:31 am Title: Chapter 14
Oh wow. You really have the tension-o-meter up at max level with this one, my heart is in my mouth with most of the chapters and lost count of the times I've shouted nooooo while reading, love it.
Now they have to be rescued of course, but would love to see Tim break out of his inner turmoil and find a way to break his bonds, maybe the acid of the vinegar has weakened ropes. With Tony's lack of faith in him early on and Ricardo brutal treatment if him it would be great to see him save the day.
saadly, the vinegar is only on the sponge in his mouth
and the chains are thick, sturdy and unbreakable without tools. so the hope for his rescue lies in the hands of those still looking for them.
in thier weakened condition - none of them are even close to being able to save the day, I'm afraid.
maybe fate will intevene on thier behalf soon - we can hope, right?
Date: 11/05/2014 07:06 pm Title: Chapter 12
Wow, you have created quite the sadistic bastard in Ricardo! I hope Tim doesn't give up all hope; no matter what Ricardo says, it's not his fault.
Can't wait to see what you have planned next; it's been a rollercoaster ride so far!