They didn’t realize it at the time, but the first sign of it was when Sarah was between her first and second birthday and Tim was just past his tenth.
The rainy day meant they were all confined to the house, but the only one who seemed to mind was Helen McGee. Tim wasn’t really paying much attention to the weather because he’d gotten to the good part of ‘Peter Pan’ and would have been fully absorbed by the black words printed on the white page no matter what the weather had been doing. In fact it was his mother’s opinion that an earthquake could have shaken the house in that moment and Tim wouldn’t have even looked up.
“Never mind,” sighed Helen McGee, her plans of working in the garden dissolving. “How about we do the alphabet, Sarah?”
Sarah McGee was one of those girls that were beautiful throughout their lives. Even now her hair was thick and curled around her shoulders while her round brown eyes, so unlike her brother’s, regarded the world with an infinite curiosity and regarded people as silly things who didn’t understand her observations. Sarah couldn’t understand why her mother wouldn’t let her go out in the rain. She thought her mother would want her to have a bath.
Nonetheless, her mother had stood firm even when Sarah had used her best persuasive techniques, so the girl nodded and followed the lesson.
Tim was steadfastly ignoring them, no matter how much his loud sister distracted him. He was used to his sister annoying him, but had found out very quickly that his complaints weren’t welcome.
Tim had never really needed a sibling. He’d been happy this far on, hadn’t he? But his mother had been so happy he hadn’t the heart to tell her it was all unnecessary. In fact, he’d dreaded the baby coming. Everyone knew that babies smelt and made a lot of noise and were just generally unpleasant. He’d shared his concerns with his father, but he hadn’t paid much attention either. ‘Just you wait,’ he’d said, ‘you’ll love it. You’ll have a baby to boss about and play with. I remember when...’
After that he’d gone off into one of his stories that Tim didn’t really pay attention to, but his father’s words had made him think. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. It would be nice to have someone to do whatever he said, wouldn’t it? And when the kid was older he could be a proper big brother and teach him about what to do, right and wrong, and life in general. Yes, maybe it would be okay.
And then, of course, the baby had to be a girl.
Tim knew all about girls. He went to school with them. They were silly, and shrieked and giggled all the time. Girls were no good.
The time when the baby was little was horrible; she cried throughout the night until he was sleeping under his pillow; she pooped all the time and gurgled incoherently. And for some reason his parents doted on her and, so he thought, didn’t pay any attention to him, anymore.
She threw food at him, gummed on his games and drooled on his homework. When she learned to walk it was worse, because now she’d follow him when he’d left the room. So, much to his parents despair, Tim never paid much attention to his sister.
‘Peter reached the shore without mishap, and went straight on; his legs encountering the water as it quite unaware that he had entered a new element-’
“Good girl! Now, what comes after R?”
“S!” cried Sarah, bouncing up and down in her seat, excitedly. All of her misgivings were gone now. It was a good game, and she was doing quite well. “S for Sarah!” she said proudly.
“Good girl! Now what comes next?”
Sarah thought quietly, running through the song in her head. “T,” she answered. “Teee.”
“And what is T for?”
The answer came with as much solemnity as Sarah’s little-girl body could hold. “T is for Tim,” she said instantly, as if there was no other possible answer.
Tim’s head popped up over the back of the sofa. “What did she say?”
“T is for Tim,” Sarah repeated.
“Oh,” said the older boy. “Okay.”
And then he went back to his book. Peter was getting poisoned and he didn’t want to miss it.
*
The year after new kids moved in next door. The McGee children were quite excited because the neighbours before hadn’t been very nice and hadn’t had any children.
Their new neighbours were called Kirstin and Julianne and were twelve and nine, respectively. Tim was disappointed in Kirstin who was one of those loud and giggly sort of girls who wouldn’t go near him but Julianne, who preferred to go by Ju, was pretty cool. She liked climbing trees, running races, and computer games. Her only fault was that she allowed Sarah to join in with their games, even when it was obvious that the littlest girl would be no good.
One evening that summer Tim was watching a movie when Sarah plopped down on the sofa chair next to him and watched for five minutes before saying the words that had obviously been bothering her.
“Ju says that bothers and sisters are supposed to love each other.”
Tim was startled. “When did she say that?”
“After you left us earlier. I asked why you wouldn’t play and she said because you didn’t want to play my game because you thought it was silly, even though it wasn’t and even though you loved me. I asked how she knew that you loved me and she said ‘cause brothers and sisters love each other. Always.”
He didn’t know what to say to that, but Sarah was looked at him expectantly. He looked back at the television screen. “Well...yeah. I suppose,” he said awkwardly.
Sarah sighed, exasperated.
“Well, I know you do even if you don’t say it. Because we are brother and sister and we love each other, because everyone is always saying it and because that’s what brothers and sisters do. So I know. Even if you don’t say it.”
Tim stayed silent. Sarah gave up on getting an answer after a while, and watched his movie with him.
*
“You stole it!” Tim yelled triumphantly from her doorway. Sarah froze on the top step.
“What were you doing in my room?”
“Collecting evidence! And here it is, you stole it, just like I said.”
“Oh, stop it! You must have put it there. Why would I steal your stupid game, anyway?”
“Because I said you were too little to play!”
“I didn’t take it! And I’m not too little; I bet I’d even beat you!”
“Ha!”
“I would!”
“No, you wouldn’t. You’re just a little girl!”
“I’m four! But, I’m still better then you. Everyone knows it. Mom and Dad like me better!”
“You little…"!” Tim bellowed, stepping forward, his hands balling up automatically in rage. Sarah took an unconscious step back from her furious brother only to find air underneath her feet.
Tim saw it a split second before it happened, so he understood the terror dawning on his little sister’s face. He lunged forward to catch her and pull her to him but it was too late. His hand missed hers by inches, and he couldn’t do anything as he saw her tumble hard down the stairs.
She lay on the floor at the bottom. She threw up. And then she didn’t move.
Tim ran down the stairs and yelled for his parents, who’d heard her fall and came running. Tim slid to his knees and grabbed Sarah’s hand as his mom cried out and yanked the phone off the hook.
“Sarah, honey,” said his father, kneeling next to his sister’s prone body.
“Quickly, I need an ambulance-”
“Stay awake Sarah-”
“My daughter, she fell down the stairs-”
“Wiggle your toes for me...thank God.”
“Thank you, please come quickly-”
Her eyelids fluttered.
“Don’t go to sleep sweetie, stay with us.”
“Sarah?” Tim broke out. His voice was tiny and scared. It was his fault. He’d scared her and
now she was hurt and...
“Sarah, I’m so sorry, please be okay,” he pleaded.
Please, I’m sorry, please, I’m sorry, please, I’m sorry, please…
“Okay,” she whispered brokenly and he wasn’t sure if she meant she was okay or that he was forgiven. He didn’t care. The smallness of her voice had ripped him apart. Sarah never sounded small.
“S’okay Tim,” she repeated, and she sounded marginally stronger. More awake anyhow. But still so quiet he could barely understand her. “I...di..nnt...mean it.”
“I know.”
Her eyes drifted again and their father jumped in and started asking her questions to keep her awake. His tiny little sister. She wasn’t six yet. Please.
He gripped her hand as her parents worked around him and the ambulance people came. He was useless.
C’mon Sarah. I love you.
He didn’t realize he’d said it out loud until her eyes opened and she looked directly at him. Then the EMTs pushed him out of the way and drove off with her.
*
He was sick with worry until she came home; being in the hospital, however much she was charming the nurses and demanding things, meant something was wrong. Home meant things were normal.
She was treated like a princess for a while. Tim even let her play his games. She didn’t beat him, though. Tim didn’t care but Sarah was competitive. After a few months she started sneaking down at night to practice and highly enjoyed his surprise when she improved so much that soon it was a fair fight.
“You may be able to spell better then me Tim,” she said once “and you may run faster and you may be taller. But I can still kick your butt at this.”
Soon, Tim told his friends, the two of them were the best players in the neighbourhood. Sarah told her friends they were the best in the state.
*
The night of his 16th birthday Tim McGee woke up in the hospital. The first thing he noticed when he woke up was the cold, antiseptic smell that told him where he was. He hurt all over. He couldn’t move his head because of his neck-brace and a quick check told him that he’d also broken a leg and his chest was bandaged. It was dark.
Oh.
The car. Mom and Dad had given him a car in the morning, after his birthday pancakes. A great car. And he’d gone driving and...shit.
God, he was stupid. How many people got into a car accident on their first day with a car? He hoped it was okay. He felt like he’d been hit...by a bus.
That saying was taking on a whole new meaning, now.
“Tim!” Cried a young voice from the doorway. Sarah rushed forward, spilling half a cup of water on her way.
“Hi,” Tim said, and then he grimaced. His voiced sounded scratchy and odd. Sarah passed him the water. It was cold and it hurt his teeth.
Sarah sat on the bed carefully. “Are you okay?” Sarah asked and then she frowned. “What am I saying?”
He smiled. “No. That’s okay. I feel fine.”
Her eyebrows rose into her hairline and suddenly she looked like their mother. “I don’t believe you. But you’re awake and talking so it’s okay. I was really scared. Mom and Dad were really worried about you.”
“Where are they?”
“Dad’s harassing a doctor and Mom’s on the phone with Nana. Do you hurt anywhere in particular? Do you want me to find a doctor?”
“No,” he answered and something else occurred to him, in a flash of horror. “Was anyone else hurt?”
“No. Don’t worry. Everyone else is fine. You were the only one stupid enough to get hurt,” she scowled at him.
He breathed out and a huge weight was lifted off his chest.
“Sarah, do you know what happened to the car?”
“I think it was totaled.” She said conversationally, tucking her legs underneath her.
“Totaled? Oh man!”
“Does it matter? It was just a car.”
“It was more then that, it was...” A great car, a fantastically cool car, the best gift I’ve ever gotten.
She snorted. “It was just a car. You’ll have loads more. Better ones. When you’re a grown up, famous writer and have lots of money. You’ll buy an expensive car and designer clothes and you’ll pay for me to go to the Caribbean.”
He laughed. “You’ve got it all mapped out, haven’t you, Sarah?”
“Uh-huh,” she said. “But you have to be alive to do that, so please don’t get hurt again. ‘Kay?”
“Okay. I won’t. I love you, Sarah.”
“Love you too, Tim.”
*
He found her in the garden, behind the shed and under the tree overhanging their fence. She was sitting with her legs crossed and her elbows resting on her knees. Her chin was resting on her hands.
When they were little this had been their private place. Or, it had been his before she’d found it. And then they’d shared it. He’d been mad at first but it became fun. Their little space, just for the two of them. The weeds were overgrown and it wasn’t the most aesthetic place, but it didn’t matter.
She smiled a half smile at him. “It’s going to be different now, isn’t it?”
He sat down next to her and slung his arm around her shoulders. “Yeah, it’s going to be different. But that’s okay. I’ll call all the time. And email. We’ll still be in touch.”
Sarah would have asked him to promise, but she knew her brother well enough to know that what he’d already said was worth a thousand promises. Later, she remembered that short conversation at the back of their yard, when she was twelve.
*
“...I can’t believe that you’ve grown up so fast. What with you off at college and Sarah’s boyfriend-”
“Wait, what?”
“Didn’t she tell you? Sarah’s started dating a boy from school. Henry.”
“Mom, can you put Sarah on the phone?”
He heard laughing on the other end and crackling as the phone changed hands.
“What is it?” She sounded disgruntled, as if she knew where this was going.
“You didn’t tell me you’d started dating!”
“Fancy that,” she stated dryly. “Listen Tim, I know you want to do the Big Brother thing, but, don’t okay, I’ve already heard it and I really don’t care.”
He felt like there was something stuck in his throat. “Aren’t you a bit young to start dating?”
He could hear her rolling her eyes. “I’m sixteen Tim. We aren’t all incapable of connecting with the opposite sex.”
“Hey,” he said mildly, before becoming serious again. “Just be careful okay. Guys can be scum. Whatever he says, he doesn’t love you as much as I love you...remember that.”
“You’re only saying that because you want me to be your adoring little sister forever. Stop being so overprotective Tim.”
“Who are you kidding? You were never adoring.”
“Goodbye, Tim.”
*
“I love you Timmy, I really, really, really do.” Sarah slurred. “More then anybody.”
“Yeah? Well, I’d love me too. I didn’t come back home for the holidays to get you out of trouble. What the hell were you doing at Jenna’s party? Dad said you couldn’t go.” Tim let go of her and she stumbled towards her bed. She lay back and then remembered that she still had her boots on and sat up again to pull them off.
“Having fun.” She quipped back. “You know fun right? Or maybe you don’t, maybe that’s why you don’t get laid more often.”
“I’m not going to talk about my sex life with my sister.”
“Good, the mental images might have scarred me for life.”
“Sarah,” he said, his voice layered with frustration and disapproval.
“Oh, lighten up!” She mumbled, lying back on the bed and hiding her face away.
“Aren’t we going to talk about why Michelle called me?”
“Well, you can go ahead, but I’m going to sleep.”
“Sarah, you spray painted ‘bitch’ on the Hutchinson’s garage door.”
“Uh huh. And it felt great, too.”
“What the hell were you thinking?”
“I was thinking that their slut daughter Katie stole my Henry. She totally deserved it.”
Tim was mad now. Sarah didn’t take rejection well, but this was a new low.
“So? You broke up with the guy! That’s worth vandalizing their house for?”
“Stop trying to make me feel guilty Tim, it won’t work.” She told him angrily.
“You totally overreacted.”
“So?” She snapped. “What the hell is it to you? No, you know, I don’t care. Butt the hell out, Tim, it’s my life!”
“Fine.” He replied coldly. “Next time you’re in trouble I won’t help you. God knows I shouldn’t have now.” He made for the door but turned around as another thought came to him. “You know, when people help other people, a ‘thank you’ is the normal response.”
Sarah was silent. Tim left and almost slammed the door before he remembered that it was the dead of night and his parents were asleep.
Damnit, Sarah! What happened to you?
He felt like he was loosing her. With work having such irregular hours and being so far away, it was getting harder and harder to keep in contact. And now she was going out and getting drunk and being stupid. What kind of vindictive, malicious person did what she did? She could get hurt. And he couldn’t help her if she didn’t listen to him.
*
She got accepted into Waverly to do an English Literature course. She was so happy when she called him, that she almost broke his eardrums. He didn’t think he’d ever been prouder.
And best of all, she’d be in the area. He didn’t even pretend that didn’t make him happy.
*
I thought about dedicating this book to my parents, who have always been there for me. And then I thought about dedicating it to my co-workers, because this book would have been much harder without them. And then I remembered how my sister stood with me for a whole hour while I debated posting this manuscript before she snatched it away and shoved it in the mailbox. So this is for her.
*
“He just resigned because of you,” said Agent Gibbs, coldly. The words stabbed her like shards of glass. All the while Agent Gibbs stared at her, coolly. As if her brother didn’t mean anything to him. Tim had raved about his co-workers at NCIS, especially about his boss. Tim idolized the man. But the man he thought Gibbs was wasn’t the same man who sat before her now and told her that her brother had given up his career because of her. Because he’d been protecting her and now they were going to rake him over the coals for it.
“But Tim loves NCIS.” She stammered out. The reality of the situation hit her. She was in trouble and now so was Tim and someone had been killed, and...and... they may not come out of this. She shouldn’t have gone to him. She shouldn’t have gotten him into this.
“Evidently, he loves you more.”
Sarah lost it then. She hadn’t cried in years but she did now. He was going to lose everything. Because of her.
*
“Sarah!” He called from across the arrivals hall at Dulles. She turned and beamed when she saw him.
She looked different he thought, as she threw her arms around him. She’d cut her hair, he’d never seen it so short. And she was bouncing on the balls of her feet and her eyes shone with new experiences and untold stories.
She waved goodbye to her friends who were greeting their own families and linked her arm with his.
“I missed you. Why did you have to be gone so long?”
She laughed.
“What would be the point in backpacking across Europe without seeing everything?”
“And did you?”
Her voice became soft and full of awe. “Oh, yes. Tim, it was wonderful. I have so many new pictures to show you. And things I forgot to tell you in my emails. I could go on forever.”
And she did. And he let her. They talked all day, as if they’d never been jealous of each other, as if they’d never fought for days, as if they’d never worried themselves sick over the other and as if they didn’t know about the flaws they detested in each other. Because all of that doesn’t matter when it is compared to the huge love that that was sprouted when they were children, unaware of the consequences such an attachment would have.
Both would do anything for the other. And both knew it too.
But such was their relationship that they wouldn’t have it any other way.
Summary: 'They didn’t realize it at the time, but the first sign of it was when Sarah was between her first and second birthday and Tim was just past his tenth.'
Sippets of the relationship between Sarah and Tim McGee.
Rated: FR13
Categories: General > Family
Genre: Character Study
Warnings: Language
Challenges: Three Times Three Little Words Challenge
Challenges: Three Times Three Little Words Challenge
Series: None
Story Notes
I'm not really sure where this came from. I was looking at channeld's Three Time Three challenge and suddenly the McGee siblings were centre stage in my head. They stayed that way all night, so the next day I wrote this. It's not perfect, but I think if I tinkered with it more I'd lose the courage to post it.
I'd like to thank Songbirdie-101 for volunteering to beta for me and doing such a wonderful job. Thank you so much. Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS or Peter Pan. If I did I'd be older and have a lot more money.
I'd like to thank Songbirdie-101 for volunteering to beta for me and doing such a wonderful job. Thank you so much. Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS or Peter Pan. If I did I'd be older and have a lot more money.
Chapter End Notes
Please review and let me know what you think!